


Story of My Life I thru VII, The

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-11-05
Updated: 2001-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:49:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	Story of My Life I thru VII, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

The Story Of My Life by Chad Moore

Each chapter of this WIP story is based on the beautiful music of ABBA. I've woven a story around my favorite songs, and I really hope that everyone likes it. I'm seriously and sadly blocked with my Dangerous Undercurrents/Conundrum series so I decided to work on this idea, which I've been wanting to write for a long time. Please let me know if I should continue. Thank you.

Chad  
=====

Title: The Story Of My Life  
Author: Chad Skywalker  
E-mail:   
Feedback: Always welcome  
Archive: Yes, please  
Status: WIP  
Rating: G  
Category: Songfic  
Spoilers: Nothing too major  
Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by CC, Fox and 1013. Song lyrics written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus. No infringement intended.  
Dedication: Michele, this one's for you.

* * *

JUST LIKE THAT

Alex Krycek sat on the cushioned window seat, a pair of bright jade eyes staring wistfully onto the rain washed street below. How had things changed so dramatically? He'd lost the one person he ever truly loved. He leaned his head back and sighed with deep regret.

The romance had started out rocky to say the least. Until that day he'd met Fox William Mulder, his life had been a river following a safe predestinated course. He'd devoted his life to his work, but when he'd been pulled into the Consortium his life had changed forever; detouring so unexpectedly with uncompromising force.

All he had to do was keep an eye on Mulder and keep the truth firmly hidden from him. His strongholds broke down all too easily the moment he laid eyes on the agent. Alex smiled faintly, remembering well how his initial longing for Mulder had embarrassed him. Especially the day he emerged from that pool...

He'd catch himself staring at Mulder when he wasn't looking, memorizing everything about him: his lush, dark hair; those fiercely intelligent hazel eyes that could melt anyone in their tracks; the cute little mole on his cheek; the proud nose... Alex had quite literally hung on to the man's every smile. Sometimes he wasn't too subtle on how he marveled at his style.

Just like that had been so long ago...

The first time Mulder visited his modest apartment, it had been one of those magic moments that only happens in the movies. He walked inside as smug as a cat, carrying with him a six pack to enjoy over a basketball game. They could have been on another planet as far as Alex was concerned. Mulder was just too damn handsome and smart for his own good. With each little look, he could slowly feel Mulder walking away with his heart.

He tried in vain to push the voice of CSM Spender from his mind. He couldn't do it, he simply could not work against Mulder. Still, through it all Alex had continued to throw dust in his eyes.

Even after falling in love with the irrestible, brooding agent, Alex lead him on. He often wondered if he possessed a split personality, the Hyde in him pressing him to do things he didn't want to. Maybe a part of him knew that someday soon Mulder would be gone?

His time with Mulder had been bliss, up until the end. After everything he'd done, Alex had opened up to him. But Mulder had learned his secrets in his never ending quest for the truth. He'd literally left no stone unturned.

Alex sniffed and watched as the storm sent a flow of water rushing down his window. Like his life, once again the river was flowing slowly. The past was firmly behind him, and he'd become a changed man. This safe and uneventful course was quite a change for a former Rat bastard like him.

His heart had never healed after Mulder, but now the tears had finally dried. No matter what went down between them, he could honestly recall their time together without remorse. In fact, on lonely nights like this he wondered where Mulder was. He smiled to himself, imagining him chasing down little grey men and shouting to the heavens for someone to believe him. Well, Alex always did. He had to admit, Mulder definitely had something that he missed.

He hoped that his Fox was happy wherever he may be. Krycek shrugged sadly, guessing that Mulder would always be a quirky rolling stone. He would always love him, because Mulder had been the only love he'd known.

Hugging himself to comfort his feelings, secretly hoping that he might see Fox again. Even if it was only for a chat...

Yes, just like that. 

===== The Lyrics =====

JUST LIKE THAT  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)

Until that day  
My life had been a river  
Following a safe predestinated course  
Suddenly detouring so unexpectedly  
With uncompromising force  
My strongholds broke down all too easily  
I remember well how it did embarrass me  
I hung on to his every smile  
Marveled at his style

Just like that  
He walked into my house  
As smug as a cat  
He was handsome and smart  
Walked away with my heart  
Just like that  
He found a temporary home in my flat  
Telling innocent lies  
Throwing dust in my eyes  
But I led him on  
Knowing that someday soon he'd be gone  
Just like that  
As though he'd only stopped a while for a chat  
But my secrets he learned  
Leaving no stone unturned

And once again  
The river's flowing slowly  
Following its safe and uneventful course  
Now the tears have dried  
It's become a pleasant break  
I recall without remorse  
But now and then I wonder where he is  
And I will admit he had something that I miss  
I guess he was a rolling stone  
The only one I've known

Just like that  
He walked into my house  
As smug as a cat  
He was handsome and smart  
Walked away with my heart  
Just like that  
He found a temporary home in my flat  
Telling innocent lies  
Throwing dust in my eyes  
But I led him on  
Knowing that someday soon he'd be gone  
Just like that  
As though he'd only stopped a while for a chat  
But my secrets he learned  
Leaving no stone unturned

Just like that  
He walked into my house  
As smug as a cat  
He was handsome and smart  
Walked away with my heart  
Just like that  
As though he'd only stopped a while for a chat  
But my secrets he learned  
Leaving no stone unturned  
Just like that

© 1982 Polar Music International AB

 

* * *

 

Title: The Story Of My Life  
Author: Chad  
E-Mail:   
Feedback: Always welcome  
Archive: Yes, please  
Status: WIP  
Category: Songfic  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Nothing too earthshattering  
Fandom: The X-Files  
Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by CC,  
Fox and 1013. Song lyrics by Benny Andersson and Bjorn  
Ulvaeus. No infringement intended.  
Dedication: for Michele

* * *

ON AND ON AND ON

Fox Mulder sat in a semi-darkened alcove sipping non-chalantly at a strawberry dacquiri. When he'd received a call about a multiple UFO sighting, he had quickly arranged for Ben -- his husky voiced contact -- to meet him at the tucked away little club. Never did Mulder imagine he would be attending an impromptu birthday party.

The garish pink umbrella brushing against his face, he looked through the swell of people to find a short, stocky young man searching the room. From his description, that must be Ben, he thought. Waving him over to the alcove, Mulder offered Ben a seat. The table was rickety and Mulder steadied it to prevent his drink tipping over.

After a lightning fast introduction, Ben glanced around the dancing bodies nervously. Mulder could tell this fellow was the uptight sort.

"So Ben," he began, clearing his throat. "Just where exactly did you see a UFO?"

Ben turned back. "I see them flying over my house. Several of my cattle have disappeared. Wanna know what I think?"

Mulder nodded.

The man leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Them aliens are carting them off to cut 'em up and do experiments."

"Have you actually found the inviscerated remains of your cattle?" Mulder pressed, hoping for some physical evidence.

"No, no," Ben shook his head. "That's the thing. They take them off into space!"

Mulder sighed heavily. Kook. A grade-A 100% kook. How did he keep falling for dead end leads?

"Something's bad happening, don't you agree?" Ben asked.

"Mmm-hmm," Mulder replied. Something bad like me sitting here listening to this load of crap. I could be at the gym shooting hoops, or home watching "These Bases Are Loaded" and shooting off... He took another strong slurp of his drink, sucking so hard that he nearly emptied the glass.

Ben glanced back at the dancing crowd as they reveled in the merriment of rock music, good times and beer. "Just look at 'em. I wouldn't fancy cuttin' them open to see what's inside. They don't care for nothing, no respect whatsoever! Evil times are a'comin'!"

Mulder registered the fanatical gleam in the man's eyes, and drained his glass. He was seriously on the brink of giving himself a ice headache. "Come on, they're just having fun," he muttered. He didn't care for the man spouting impending doom.

Ben became a little wary. "Sir, I'm a minister and I don't care for their kind of fun," he retorted. "Nor do I care for meeting you in a place like this."

Oh boy, Mulder groaned to himself. "If you'll excuse me, I need to freshen my drink."

"Hurry back or they'll draw you in," Ben warned.

Mulder rolled his eyes heavenwards. I just can't believe it, he thought. Me and my luck.

"You've got to hear the rest of my story," continued Ben.

"Oh yeah," he smiled with enthusiam phonier than a two dollar bill. "Boy, I think it's great!"

Glad to be away, he strode through the gyrating bodies. Who is that guy to tell me what is right and what is wrong? Ugh! That's the last time I ever do this, he promised himself. He grinned faintly knowing what a lie that was. He'd travel to the ends of the earth to find the truth.

While the bartender refilled his drink, Mulder cast his eyes around the room's red velvet walls. Over in the corner he could see a rather striking man with auburn hair. Mulder shifted his weight a little when the stranger lifted his glass and winked, the flirt! Oh yeah, he was definitely giving him the eye.

Well, Mulder could play the same game. Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his dark hair and took a casual stroll round the bar. Leaning against it, he grinned at the view he must've been giving in his favorite tight jeans.

And it didn't take long for Mr. Flirty to notice! As sure as hell, the guy was coming up to him. Setting his own drink on the mirrored bar top, he smiled crookedly.

"Hi, I'm Malcolm," he introduced himself.

"Mulder," he replied, thinking that 'Malcolm and Mulder' sounded like a bad sitcom title.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Malcolm asked.

"When?"

"When you fell from heaven."

Oh geesh! Mulder could've kicked himself for falling right into that one.

Malcolm looked him up and down, and Mulder could feel his eyes peeling off his clothes faster than a monkey with a banana skin. His next line made Mulder groan aloud, he said, "What's going on? Do you think we could find some time for us?"

No way, nada, forget it. He thought of a good comeback. "Well, I'm not exactly waiting for the bus."

Mr. Flirty actually found this funny and chuckled, slapping Mulder so hard on the back that he nearly fell over the bar.

"If you're going somewhere, can I come along?" Malcom asked, pressing in close.

"Keep looking, buddy."

"You need to loosen up!"

Mulder arched an eyebrow and nodded across the room to Ben. "Do you see that big butch guy over there? I'm with him."

Malcolm raised his hands in defeat and started to back away. "My mistake. But let me give you a piece of advice. A hot guy like you should be shared."

"'Night, Malcolm," Mulder said, taking a long sip from his drink.

Alone once more, he actually began to ponder what he'd said. What the hell was he doing? Here he was in a club full of hot guys, and he'd come here to track down aliens! This was really no surprise. He was following the same pattern, on and on and on. Ever since things went downhill with Alex, he'd become obsessed with work. Scully had commented just the other day how all he did anymore was sit in his basement stewing 'til all hours of the night.

I've been sitting, burying myself from getting hurt again, he realized. But standing up and opening your heart was scary if you thought you were going to fall. Yes, that's me -- ol' Humpty Dumpty afraid of falling off a wall. Well, he could just crack to pieces. If he ever wanted to move on, he'd have to get out there and try again. Yeah baby, just gotta keep on rockin'!

His eyes settled on an adorable younger man, dancing in the middle of the floor. As a new, thumping rhythm broke into his thoughts, Mulder headed into the unknown. There was a new objective on his mind. He wouldn't be lonely tonight. He'd find someone to ravage his desires, on and on and on.

===== The Lyrics =====

ON AND ON AND ON  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)

I was at a party  
And this fellow said to me, "something bad is  
happening, I'm sure you do agree. People care for  
nothing, no respect for human rights. Evil times are  
coming, we are in for darker nights."

I said, "who are you to talk about impending doom?"  
He got kinda wary as he looked around the room.  
He said, "I'm a minister, a big shot in the state."  
I said, "I just can't believe it. Boy, I think it's  
great. Brother, can you tell me what is right and what is wrong?"  
He said, "keep on rockin' baby, 'til the night is gone."

On and on and on  
Keep on rockin' baby  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
Keep on rockin' baby  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
'Til the night is gone

Over in the corner I could see this other guy  
He was kinda flirty  
He was giving me the eye  
So I took advantage of the fact that I'm a star  
Shook my hair and took a casual stroll up to the bar  
And as sure as hell this guy was coming up to me  
He said, "who am I, and who are you, and who are we?  
What's our situation? Do we have some time for us?"  
I said, "I was not exactly waiting for the bus."  
He said, "if you're going somewhere, can I come along?"  
I said, "keep on rockin' baby, 'til the night is gone."

On and on and on  
Keep on rockin' baby  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
Keep on rockin' baby  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
'Til the night is gone

Standing up is scary  
If you think you're gonna fall  
Like a Humpty Dumpty afraid of falling off the wall  
I say if you ever wanna know what's going on  
Gotta keep on rockin' baby  
'Til the night is gone

On and on and on  
Keep on rockin' baby  
'Til the night is gone  
On and on and on  
'Til the night is gone...

© 1981 Polar Music International AB

 

* * *

 

Title: The Story of My Life  
Author: Chad Moore  
Email:   
Feedback: Always welcome  
Date: July 28th, 2001  
Category: Songfic  
Archive: Yes, please  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Nothing too earthshattering  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, wish I did. Story based on the lyrics of Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus. No infringement intended.  
Author's note: Special thanks to Bertina  
Dedication: For Michele

* * *

ONE OF US

Lying back against the soft comforter of his bed, Alex had moved from his position in the window seat to stare forlornly up at his bedroom ceiling. His heart felt heavy in his chest. He simply could not stop thinking about his sweet Fox and the mistakes he'd made.

From somewhere in the distance, he could make out the strumming of mandolins in the Italian restuarant he and Fox used to enjoy on Friday nights. A roll of thunder made his skin tingle, remembering how his lover used to cuddle up beside him.

Yes, Alex Krycek had really screwed things up -- big time! That one great romance had passed him by, thanks to the machinations of one CSM Spender. It made Alex weep freely at all the pain he'd caused. All of his chances robbed in the blink of an eye.

Glancing over, he picked up the framed photograph of Fox and himself taken on a beautiful sandy beach last summer. Fresh crystal tears rolled down his cheeks and the frame slipped from his fingers.

He sighed heavily, holding a body pillow tight to his chest. Closing his eyes, he tried to invisage Mulder pressing his warmth against him. His instructions had been clear... All he had to do was keep Mulder from the truth. Of course, nothing is ever that easy. And one lie led to another. Like the snapping of fingers, he'd dealt the killing blow and their relationship had ended.

How could he have done it?

Why did he do it?

The one person he had ever loved had to go.

If only there was some way he could show him, to convince him that things were different. Just to let him know...

Once more he stared up at the stark white ceiling, just wishing he were somewhere else instead. A wave of loneliness rained down again and he gripped the feathery softness of the pillow tighter.

His eyes fluttered open as a persistent knocking invaded his heartbroken thoughts. Who could that be? Especially at this time of night.

Wiping his eyes, Alex sat up. Another round of knocks and a crisp voice from the other side of the door called, "Alex, sweetie. I know you're in there. You can vegetate from now 'til Christmas, but it will just make me miss you more. Now you don't want that on your conscience do you?"

Despite his melancholy, a half smile crept across his face. Miranda. The only friend he had left in the world. He stood and answered the door before she could batter it down.

"Well," she said smartly. "It's about time."

With that, she bounded into the room. Hands on hips, Miranda's azure eyes read him like a book. "Do I have to guess?"

He shook his head. Instantly, she took him by the hand and lead him over to a sofa.

"Alex, it's been over a month now. I know you're holed up in here waiting for a call."

He exhaled and turned a pair of very sad eyes to his friend. "I can't help it, Miranda. I just feel so stupid and small for hurting Fox."

"Nope, we're not having this, mister!" She jumped to her feet and pulled him up with her. "You're not going to feel sorry for yourself any longer!"

"But," he started to protest.

"No buts," she told him matter of factly. "And you're keeping your rather exquisite one concealed in this apartment away from all the action!"

Miranda knew she had to be firm. She loved being Alex's fag hag, and she adored him to death. It broke her own heart when Fox left and her dear Russian had been grieving ever since. He could be like a child sometimes, so stubborn. But logic and reason went out the window when you mix love and Fox Mulder together.

She brushed a strand of silky, dark hair from his eyes. "Honey, if you want Fox back, go to him and show him how much you've changed."

"I don't know if I can," he replied.

Miranda shrugged. "Ok, you can either A. Waste your life away in this room. B. Go to Fox and tell that gorgeous lunatic how much you still love him. Or C. Get your butt out there and find someone new!"

"If I do see Fox again -- and I'm not saying I will --what do I say? That one of us has been crying every single day? How lonely I've been without him? How I've changed while my heart was breaking?"

"Sugar, just say what's in your heart. Who knows? Maybe he also wishes he'd never left at all?" She hugged him, then added, "You'll never know unless you try."

Alex walked over and stared out into the night again. The rain had stopped and a big, full moon appeared to light up the empty street below. It seemed to beckon to him to rejoin the land of the living.

Maybe he could do it... maybe he could win Fox back.

"You're right," he said, full of renewed vigor. He turned to Miranda and grinned.

"Of course, I am." She smiled back.

===== The Lyrics =====

One Of Us  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)  
taken from "The Visitors"

They passed me by  
All of those great romances  
You were, I felt  
Robbing me  
Of my rightful chances  
My picture clear  
Everything seemed so easy  
And so I dealt you the blow  
One of us had to go  
Now it's different  
I want you to know

One of us is crying  
One of us is lying  
In her lonely bed  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wishing she was somewhere else instead

(One of us is changing, while our hearts are breaking)

One of us is lonely  
One of us is only  
Waiting for a call  
Sorry for herself  
Feeling stupid, feeling small  
Wishing she had never left at all

I saw myself  
As a concealed attraction  
I felt you kept me away  
>From the heat and the action  
Just like a child  
Stubborn and misconceiving  
That's how I started the show  
One of us had to go  
Now I've changed and I want you to know

One of us is crying  
One of us is lying  
In her lonely bed  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wishing she was somewhere else instead

(One of us is changing, while our hearts are breaking)

One of us is lonely  
One of us is only  
Waiting for a call  
Sorry for herself  
Feeling stupid, feeling small  
Wishing she had never left at all  
Never left at all  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wishing she was somewhere else instead

(One of us is changing, while our hearts are breaking)

One of us is lonely  
One of us is only  
Waiting for a call  
Sorry for herself  
Feeling stupid, feeling small...

© 1981 Polar Music International AB

 

* * *

 

Title: The Story of My Life  
Author: Chad  
E-Mail:   
Feedback: Always welcome  
Date: August 4, 2001  
Archive: Yes, please  
Status: WIP  
Category: Songfic  
Pairing: M/K  
Rating: PG  
Keywords: Schmoopy angst  
Spoilers: Nothing too earthshattering  
Disclaimers: All familiar characters are owned by CC, 1013 and Fox. ABBA lyrics written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus. Any similiarity between Anne the good-hearted waitress and Debbie from Queer As Folk is purely coincedental.  
Author's note: Thanks to Bertina. This chapter also contains a few lines from ABBA's "I Am The City."  
Dedication: For Michele

* * *

ANGELEYES

The ferocity of the strobing lights caught Mulder's dancing form on the club's smokey floor. The combination of one too many strawberry daquiris and a highly charged libido resulted in the handsome agent gyrating with almost every man in the building.

Without a care in the world, Mulder went from one sweat soaked hunk to the next. The earlier words of Mr. Flirty causing him to cast inhibition aside and stop being so damned stuffy. Yes, he'd gone through a terrible break-up a month ago -- but hey, it was time he moved on with his life. And in Fox Mulder's opinion, the easiest way to do that was forget everything in the arms of one of the many studs surrounding him.

Then why did he have a sense of wrongness over these actions? And why the hell couldn't he get Alex Krycek out of his mind? He actually felt himself go a bit weak in the knees at a pair of electric green eyes shining in the semi-darkness. They belonged to young blonde-headed man, but something about those eyes reminded him of Alex -- the rat bastard who betrayed him and stole his heart.

Mulder turned away and tried to lose himself in the music and swaying bodies. No matter how hard he tried, he simply could not stop thinking about those eyes...

Even when a trick anxious to feast upon his body offered to take him into a back room, Mulder couldn't bring himself to do it. Those gleaming Russian eyes pierced into his thoughts and right to the center of his soul. He had to get out of here... get some fresh air...

Mulder nearly burst through the club doors, and took several deep cleansing breaths. Reaching out, he held onto the brick wall for support. His head swam dizzily but the night air was a great help compared to the enclosed club. He watched his breath exhale and evaporate. Why the hell couldn't he stop fixating on Krycek? He swore to himself that all of that was behind him.

Moving along, Mulder began to wander throughout the District. His blurred senses taking in the hotels, the bars, the funny smells, the cars, the people... Anything to take his mind off a broken heart which he thought had hardened. How was he ever supposed to move on if every man with green eyes reminded him of Alex?

He paused before a quaint cafe. For the love of Pete, he needed to sober up a bit, that was it! Ordering a cup of coffee -- black -- he slid up onto a stool. He took a couple of careful sips from the hot liquid. Nearby, an old-style jukebox played an angelic harmony which was quite a contrast from the driving techno which bombarded him at the club. It eased his being, his heart slowed to a steady, patient rhythm and his thoughts began to clear.

Mulder noted that the cafe was nearly empty. Just him and a very friendly waitress named Anne. For the first time, he looked out of a side window to find a park outside. He hadn't realized he was so close to the river!

'Man, I must've really been out of it,' he thought. He'd walked a long way... in fact, he was near his own apartment.

Swallowing the remains of the coffee, the ever diligent Anne quickly refilled the china cup. It was then that Mulder just about fell of the bar stool. He blinked repeatedly, not believing his own eyes. For walking along the river was none other than Alex Krycek!

He peered intently, noticing that his former lover was with a young girl. Who was that? Miranda! Alex's friend, Miranda. Mulder shivered at the look Krycek gave her. He recognized it immediately as the one Alex used whenever he talked about him. If only Miranda knew what he was really like. I should just walked right up to her and tell her about the games he likes to play! 'God, he looks so gorgeous in the moonlight...'

"Damnit!" Mulder muttered under his breath.

This caught Anne's attention. "Honey, who broke your heart?" she asked, popping a piece of bubblegum.

"Huh? What?" It took a few moments for Mulder to return to reality.

"I've seen that look a thousand times," she replied as she wiped the counter. "Oh, if I only had a nickel for every story I've heard."

Mulder shaded his eyes. "Am I that obvious?"

She smirked and slapped a towel across the counter. "Spill it, hon."

"Do you see that guy out there?" he asked, leaning in conspiratorially.

"You mean the dark looker? Yeah, I bet he's left a trail of broken hearts in his time."

Mulder sighed heavily. "You wouldn't happen to know a cure for that, would you?"

"Aww, sweetie. He hurt a good looking guy like you? Well, all I can say is that it's his loss!"

Blushing profusely, Mulder looked down into his coffee. Anne nudged his shoulder. "C'mon, starshine, I bet there's some special guy out there just dreaming of meeting someone like you."

"You think so?"

"Darlin', I know so!" She nodded toward the window. "Now tell me, what exactly happened between you and him?"

"When I first met him, I knew there was something between us. I really didn't like him at first. But one look into those eyes, and wham!"

"You were hypnotized?" she finished for him, snapping her fingers.

"Exactly!"

"Been there a few times myself."

Mulder shook his head sadly. "It all happened so fast. One minute I thought I was in paradise, then the next I find he was just using me. It's like he was two different people, wearing a disguise for my benefit." He pounded the countertop with his fist. "I just dove in too deep."

Anne furrowed her brow, and with a mother's touch, ran a hand gently across Mulder's cheek. "No, no, no, starshine, it's not your fault."

Propping his head up, Mulder pooched out his lips. "You know, it's when I'm feeling lonely that I really start thinking of him again."

"How long has it been?"

"Just a month. I just hurts to remember all the good times we shared."

"That's only natural, hon. You've got to give your heart time to heal."

"You know, when I looked out and saw him again I had to wonder why does the pain come back just because I see him?"

Anne regarded him curiously. "You know what I think?"

Mulder shook his head no.

"I think you still haven't gotten over the guy."

Mulder started to protest, but he had another flash of those eyes. Alex Krycek could still make him crazy. Aargh! "What the hell is wrong with me?" he asked, aloud.

Anne ruffled his hair. "Absolutely nothing. You've just got some unresolved feelings. I can see it in your eyes that you've got a big heart, and you've just got to give it to the right person."

Mulder snorted. "Once I gave it to him and now I'm paying the price."

"Before you know it, you'll be ready to love again. I promise."

Despite his conflicting emotions, Mulder gave Anne a prize-winning grin. "Are you sure you don't moonlight as a shrink?" he asked, slyly.

"Oh, honey, if I did, I'd have better tips," she cracked.

Leaving Anne a healthy tip, Mulder thanked her and headed out of the cafe's door. Waving the crisp bills to cool herself off, Anne watched him go. "Whew!" she sighed, getting a gander at starshine's backside.

Sticking his hands into his coat pockets, Mulder took a few tentative steps beyond the cafe. Now, there was absolutely no sign of Alex. Where did he go? And what was he doing in this part of town? Mulder chided his own analytical thinking and decided it was time to go home, get in bed, and start afresh in the morning.

If only he could stop thinking about those angeleyes...

===== The Lyrics =====

ANGELEYES  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)  
taken from ABBA: Voulez-Vous

Keep thinking about those angeleyes  
I keep thinking

Last night I was taking a walk along the river  
When I saw him together with a young girl  
And the look that he gave her made me shiver  
'Cause he always used to look at me that way  
And I thought maybe I should walk right up to her and say  
It's a game he likes to play

Look into his angeleyes  
One look and you're hypnotized  
He'll take your heart  
And you must pay the price  
Look into his angeleyes  
You'll think you're in paradise  
And one day you'll find out he wears a disguise  
Don't look too deep into those angeleyes  
Oh, no, no, no, no

Keep thinking about his angeleyes  
I keep thinking

Sometimes when I'm lonely  
I sit and think about him  
And it hurts to remember all the good times  
When I thought I could never live without him  
And I wonder does it have to be the same  
Everytime when I see him  
Will it bring back all the pain  
How can I forget that name

Look into his angeleyes  
One look and you're hypnotized  
He'll take your heart  
And you must pay the price  
Look into his angeleyes  
You'll think you're in paradise  
And one day you'll find out he wears a disguise  
Don't look too deep into those angeleyes

Crazy about his angeleyes  
Angeleyes  
Once he took my heart  
And now I pay the price  
Look into his angeleyes  
You'll think you're in paradise  
(Angel...)  
And one day you'll find out he wears a disguise  
Don't look too deep into those angeleyes  
Oh, no, no, no, no

Keep thinking  
Keep thinking about his angeleyes  
Keep thinking  
Keeping thinking I had to pay the price...

© 1979 Polar Music International AB

 

* * *

 

Title: The Story of My Life  
Author: Chad  
Email:   
Feedback: Always welcome  
Archive: Yes, please  
Date: August 23rd, 2001  
Status: WIP  
Category: M/K songfic  
Keyword: Angst  
Rating: PG13  
Spoilers: Nothing too earthshattering.  
Disclaimers: I don't own these characters, wish I did because they'd stay in a perpetual romantic haze. ABBA lyrics written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus. No infringement intended.  
Author's Note: Special thanks to Bertina. This chapter is based on "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" and also contains a few snippets from "Dream World."  
Dedication: For Michele

* * *

A FOX AFTER MIDNIGHT

Mulder sat on the sofa, one leg hiked up on the coffee table, a glum expression on his face. Having returned home, he quickly changed into a T-shirt and sweats. The flickering images of a black and white Late, Late Show movie illuminated the room.

He glanced over at a nearby clock. It was only half past twelve! He had to check his wristwatch to make sure the time was correct. Man, it felt like it was way later than that! Maybe he'd experienced 'Missing Time' on the way home. He shook his head, berating himself for being silly.

Well, he was in one of his brooding moods. It didn't help that he'd caught a glimpse of Alex this evening, plus the fact that he was all alone in his apartment with just a 50's B-movie for company.

Cocking his head to the side, he listened to the autumn wind blowing outside the window. The aquarium's neon glow cast eerie patterns around the room. Sighing heavily, Mulder held his chin in his hand, feeling really depressed in all this gloom.

Absently he scratched at a bare foot. As a young blond screamed and ran away from a rubber-suited alien on TV, Mulder realized he'd just been alone for far too long. Having gotten used to having Alex in his life, and their relationship ending so abruptly, he was really scared to start over again.

With Alex, he'd had so many hopes and high expectations. God, now that man could kiss. It had taken a while to trust him, and when he did -- bam! --he'd fallen big time. Toward the end, Alex had gotten fed up with his accusations. But Mulder had followed his instincts, and somehow Alex's activies didn't seem right. No one was perfect, Alex was no angel, but Fox couldn't shake the memories of his former lover.

He wondered if the waitress' words were true -- was there really someone out there dreaming about a guy like him? For a moment, he tried to imagine a guy sitting, listening to music, and fantasizing about him.

How he wished it were true! Honestly, he didn't think there was a soul out there.

Fox Mulder searching for true love. He actually snorted at the thought. Now there was an X-File in itself.

Running a hand under his shirt, he slowly caressed his warm stomach. He missed the intimacy of being touched. Closing his eyes, his hand travelled down beneath the elastic band of his sweat pants. He felt his cock twicth to life within the confines of his boxer briefs.

Oh yeah, he sighed to himself. It had definitely been far too long. He ran a hand over the substantial bulge straining for release. He should have just bought Mr. Flirty home from that bar. Maybe that's all he needed was a one-night encounter with a hot man to get over and move on.

His eyes popped back open and he wished that someone could be here right now to chase the shadows of the room and in his heart away.

Abandoning his begging desire, his gaze returned to the television. A very attractive movie star hero was engaged in battle against the movie's extra-terrestrial beast. Yep, he'd much rather be in a different world than the one he was living in now. Unfortunately, the thrills of a favorite monster movie nor fantasies did not give him an escape from reality.

Groaning with exasperation at what he was doing to himself, Mulder flicked off the set and idly cast the hefty remote aside. Standing, he wandered toward his desk to surf the 'net. Instead, he stopped and fingered the little rainbow flag sticking up proudly from a coffee mug full of pens. He had acquired it at a pride parade with Alex...

His bottom lip full and pouty, Mulder felt his heart start to race. Moving toward the window, he pulled up the blind and opened it. Staring out into the twinkling lights of the city, he inhaled the cool night air.

With his head a little clearer, he felt considerably better. Propping his arms on the sill, he looked around the street. No one in sight. Everyone seemed to have turned in, he guessed.

Perhaps that's all he needed. A good night's rest. He could slip into a dream world and hope that some special man out there would hear his prayer. If he could only make it to the break of the day...

to be continued!

===== The Lyrics =====

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)

Half past twelve  
And I'm watching the late show  
In my flat all alone  
How I hate to spend the evening on my own  
Autumn wind blowing outside the window  
As I look around the room  
And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom

There's not a soul out there  
No one to hear my prayer

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!  
A man after midnight  
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away?  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!  
A man after midnight  
Take me through the darkness  
To the break of the day

Movie stars  
By the end of the rainbow  
With a fortune to win  
It's so different from the world I'm living in  
Tired of TV  
I open the window  
And I gaze into the night  
But there's nothing there to see  
No one in sight

There's not a soul out there  
No one to hear my prayer

(repeat chorus)

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!  
A man after midnight  
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!  
A man after midnight

There's not a soul out there  
No one to hear my prayer

(repeat chorus)

© 1979 Polar Music International AB

Dream World  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)

We're not the stars of a Hollywood movie  
So what's the use to pretend?  
I'm not so charming  
And you're not so groovy  
You've gotta face it, my friend

Dream world  
You've been living in a dream world  
Trust me  
You just can't escape from reality  
Boy meets girl  
Doesn't mean they're in a dream world  
Here I am  
(There you are)  
We're gonna make it together  
And we've made  
(It so far)  
So it can only get better

When you reach out  
And you say to me  
How I love you girl  
When I hold you  
Baby can't you see  
That's a real dream world

You have your hopes and your high expectations  
Somehow it doesn't seem right  
I'm getting fed up with your accusations  
I'm not your angel in white

Dream world  
You've been living in a dream world  
Trust me  
You just can't escape from reality  
Boy meets girl  
Doesn't mean they're in a dream world  
Here I am  
(There you are)  
We're gonna make it together  
And we've made  
(It so far)  
So it can only get better

When you reach out  
And you say to me  
How I love you girl  
When I hold you  
Baby can't you see  
It's a real dream world

Dream world  
You've been living in a dream world  
Trust me  
You just can't escape from reality  
Boy meets girl  
Doesn't mean they're in a dream world  
Here I am  
(There you are)  
We're gonna make it together  
And we've made  
(It so far)  
So it can only get better

© 1978 Polar Music International AB

 

* * *

 

Title: The Story Of My Life: Part 6 - Lay All Your Love On Me  
Author: Chad Moore  
E-Mail:   
Feedback: Always welcome  
Date: September 19th, 2001  
Archive: Yes, please  
Fandom: XF  
Category: M/K, Songfic  
Rating: PG13  
Spoilers: Nothing too earthshattering  
Disclaimers: Wish I owned them, but sadly don't. ABBA lyrics written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus. No infringement intended.  
Dedication: For Michele.

* * *

Lay All Your Love On Me

Alex stood outside Mulder's apartment building. A million butterflies flew and danced like trapeze artists in his stomach. The building which once seemed so inviting and warm, now appeared imposing and cold.

A friendly but insistent arm nudged him.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Miranda asked. She'd gotten him this far and she wasn't about to let him chicken out now. She pointed at the entrance. "Go in there and get your man!"

Alex swallowed hard and tried to still his heart. He clenched and unclenched his hands nervously. The cool, autumn weather made no difference. His palms were slick with sweat. He wanted Mulder back in his life more than anything... The problem was, could he convince him?

"Alex Krycek, do not make me kick your ass up those stairs," Miranda playfully threatened.

This broke the tension and Alex laughed aloud. "Ok, ok, I'm going." He certainly didn't need Miranda's high heel up his ass.

Once inside the lobby, Alex cast his eyes at two options. Then he decided to take the stairs. It was longer and would buy him a little time.

Alex began his ascent.

He remembered so well that first moment when he realized he was falling in love with the sly fox. After a little small talk that first day, Cupid shot him faster than a sitting duck. He'd never really been a jealous person, but after they met he saw every single man or woman as a potential threat. Scully, AD Skinner, everyone in the world seemed to have a glint of lust in their eyes for Mulder.

Well, nice or not, he became possessive and found little ways of spending more and more time with the enigmatic psychologist. Mulder had some kind of power over him, just a flash of that smile and Alex was stuck. He'd never felt that way before, and certainly never fallen so easily.

He shivered every time he thought of Spender pressing him to ruin Mulder's work. The incomprehensible truth that Mulder would never give up on. Out of all the things Alex Krycek was guilty of, he could freely admit that the Smoking Man was his one and only vice.

Now it wasn't true. He was relieved to have broken all ties with his past life. As far as he was concerned, everything was brand new. He sighed heavily as he reached the next floor. Miranda was right, he could do this, he could win back Fox's heart.

All too soon the door bearing number 42 appeared.

Trying hard to stop his knees from quaking, Alex skipped his pride, reached forward and lightly knocked. *Please don't let Mulder be seeing someone else* Then with more determination, he rapped louder.

No answer.

Maybe he wasn't home...

Alex turned, then froze as the door slowly opened.

Alex thought he would melt right on the spot. Mulder stood in the doorway wearing a white T-shirt and pajama bottoms. Desire boiled until it nearly overflowed. All he wanted to do was take Fox into his arms...

"Alex?" Mulder called in that husky voice of his.

Alex noted the surprise in his eyes, and was thankful that Fox hadn't slammed the door. That was a plus sign. He desperately tried to think of something. Saying 'I was just passing by and thought I'd drop in' was just too lame for words. Shit, Alex, think!

God, why did Mulder have too look so damn sexy?! Alex's heart screamed, 'Come here and lay all your love on me!'

"Can we talk?" he managed at last.

Mulder hesitated for a moment. He couldn't believe Alex was here, actually standing in his hallway. He felt a tug on his heart. The green-eyed Russian looked criminally handsome. Curiosity overcame him and Mulder opened the door fully.

Alex quickly stepped inside before he lost his nerve altogether. As soon as Mulder shut the door, he could no longer contain himself. He grabbed Fox in a passionate embrace and kissed him gently on his full, pouty lips.

The touch of his skin, the scent of his hair, the softness of his lips sent a spontaneous erection in the tight crotch of Alex's jeans.

Breaking away, Mulder started to protest but Alex interrupted. "Before you say anything, please hear me out. My life has been a living hell without you, Fox. Every night that I'm alone, I feel a kind of fear. I'm begging you to please trust me again."

Mulder's lips remained parted, from a combination of shock and surprise.

Alex stood back. "Blame me, curse me, do whatever you want because I know that it's all my fault. But please don't go wasting your emotions hating me. I've only had a few little love affairs, but I know you're the real thing. I've turned my life around and all that I ask is for a second chance with you. Everything in my life is about you, Fox."

You could have knocked Mulder over with a feather. Alex searched his handsome face for an answer...

                      

===The Lyrics===

"Lay All Your Love On Me"  
(B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)  
taken from "ABBA - Super Trouper"

I wasn't jealous before we met  
Now every woman I see is a potential threat  
And I'm possessive, it isn't nice  
You've heard me say that smoking was my only vice  
But now it isn't true  
Now everything is new  
And all I've learned  
Has overturned  
I beg of you

Don't go wasting your emotion  
Lay all your love on me

It was like shooting a sitting duck  
A little small talk, a smile  
And baby I was stuck  
I still don't know what you've done with me  
A grown-up woman should never fall so easily  
I feel a kind of fear  
When I don't have you near  
Unsatisfied  
I skip my pride  
I beg you dear

Don't go wasting your emotion  
Lay all your love on me  
Don't go sharing your devotion  
Lay all your love on me

I've had a few little love affairs  
They didn't last very long  
And they've been pretty scarce  
I used to think that was sensible  
It makes the truth even more incomprehensible  
'Cause everything is new  
And everything is you  
And all I've learned  
Has overturned  
What can I do?

Don't go wasting your emotion  
Lay all your love on me  
Don't go sharing your devotion  
Lay all your love on me

© 1980 Polar Music International AB

 

* * *

 

Title: The Story of My Life: Under Attack  
Author: Chad Moore  
E-Mail:   
Feedback: Please! Always welcome!  
Date: October 15th, 2001  
Archive: Yes, please  
Category: M/K, songfic  
Rating: PG13  
Spoilers: Nothing too earthshattering  
Beta reader: Bertina  
Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish I did! ABBA lyrics are the property of Polar Music International. No infringement intended.  
Author's note: This chapter is based on ABBA's final single, "Under Attack", and the classic "Mamma Mia".  
Dedication: For Michele, my angel

* * *

UNDER ATTACK

Between heartbeats, Mulder completely forgot to breathe. He gasped in a little air, still reeling from Alex's declaration of love. His pulse hammered in his head while his analytical thinking kicked into overdrive. Suddenly his long fingers were trembling.

Fox had vividly imagined scenarios of what seeing his ex-lover again would be like. But no daydream had prepared him for this. Already his flushed face, not to mention his stirring crotch, betrayed his emotions.

Alex stood beside the door ready to leave. A little voice kept screaming at Mulder to stop him, to make him stay and talk, make him stay and -- Mulder shook his head. He didn't know how to take this. Had Alex Krycek really changed? Could he really trust him again?

Those predatory green eyes glinted in the gloom and suddenly Fox felt his resistance running low. His heart picked up pace.

Every day without Alex had left a void in his life, and the void was growing wider. Alone at night is when it troubled him the most. It troubled him to think one person could have such a powerful hold over him. Fox Mulder may be a lot of things, but he was nobody's fool. What if this was a confidence trick? Some plot to earn his trust again? Mulder realized he didn't have a strategy to help him. His lips tingled from the passionate kiss Alex had planted on him when he swept inside the apartment.

He watched as Alex's hand reached for the doorknob. That beautiful hand that could work a magic spell over his body. A hand that he longed for and missed. He steeled himself. He couldn't let his heart be taken as easily as candy from a baby.

Alex turned and whispered, "If you need me, you know I'll always be here for you."

It was at that moment that Fox Mulder realized he was under attack. His cool facade was about to crack. All of his defences were breaking. If he didn't keep Alex here tonight, he was sure to fall apart.

"Alex, wait!" he impulsively called.

Once more the Russian hunter fixed him with those gleaming eyes. Mulder knew there and then that nothing would stop him now. And to be honest, Fox was not sure if he even knew how.

Swallowing hard, Mulder hoarsely continued, "Just stay a while, okay? I mean, you came all the way over here."

With a boyish grin, Alex carefully moved further inside. Mulder gestured toward the sofa and they both sat down. The pair resembled a couple of teenagers on their first date; hesitantly sitting at a distance.

Alex could barely contain his nerves. The silence between them was broken by the aquarium humming. He glanced over and raised his eyebrows.

"I see Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are still living it up," he observed.

Mulder couldn't help it, he just had to smile. The two large goldfish -- named after Alex's favorite "Star Wars" characters -- swam through the illuminated water. After seeing "The Phantom Menace", Alex had sworn up and down that those two just had to be lovers. Meantime, Mulder had nodded, hummed the theme music and stared up at the twinkling stars, wondering what Alex would look like in those sexy Jedi robes.

"How've you been?" asked Fox awkwardly.

Alex peered at him, and there was such sincerity in his eyes, that Fox actually felt his heart quake. "Miserable without you."

It took a lot to leave Fox Mulder speechless, and this simple, honest sentence did the trick. This is getting crazy, he thought. I should really tell him how angry I am. Somehow persuade him that I just can't risk opening my life to him again. Definitely not!

"Mulder, look," he began, his voice soft as his angelic features. "I know that you're scared. Hell, I am, too. I just know that I can't live without you."

His presence, his eyes, his words -- they were something like a magic spell, drawing Fox ever closer. He inched toward him. He hardly dared to think of what would happen... Then, he stopped thinking and fell. Here I go again!

Mulder suddenly lost control, reached forward and wrapped a surprised Krycek into a warm embrace.

"Oh, Fox," Alex said, running his hands up and down the lean man's back, stoking a fire within his soul.

Drawing his face close, Mulder pressed his lips tenderly to Alex's. An explosion of emotions burst inside his mind, and Fox forgot everything: all the animosity and hurt vanished. There was no way he could resist his lover any longer.

He slowly pulled back to look at him. "I've been so broken-hearted without you, too," he admitted. "Why did I ever let you go?"

Alex leaned forward and kissed away the tears glistening on Fox's cheeks. His hungry mouth trailed down to Mulder's neck, dotting it with soft kisses. Alex relished the taste of his body, then held him snuggly to his chest.

Mulder knew he didn't have to be strong with Alex, he never could. "Somehow, I always knew you'd come back," he said.

Alex brought his warm, sweat breath close and kissed him with a passion so intense that it sent a pulse straight down Mulder's spine. Parting his lips ever so slightly, he allowed Alex's luscious tongue access to explore his mouth. Alex was a master of his craft and Mulder became putty in his hands.

Whew! Mamma mia! He had to have him now!

[to be continued...]

*****
    
    
    "Under Attack"
    (B. Andersson, B. Ulvaeus)
    
    Don't know how to take it
    Don't know where to go
    My resistance running low
    And everyday the hold is getting tighter
    And it troubles me so
    
    (You know that I'm nobody's fool)
    
    I'm nobody's fool and yet it's clear to me
    I don't have a strategy
    It's just like taking candy from a baby
    And I think I must be
    
    Under attack
    I'm being taken
    About to crack
    Defences breaking
    Won't somebody please have a heart
    Come and rescue me now
    'Cause I'm falling apart
    Under attack
    I'm taking cover
    He's on my track
    My chasing lover
    Thinking nothing can stop him now
    Should I want to
    I'm not sure I would know how
    
    This is getting crazy
    I should tell him so
    Really let my anger show
    Persuade him that the answer to his questions
    Is a definite no!
    
    (I'm kind of flattered that's the truth)
    
    Guess I'm kind of flattered
    But I'm scared as well
    Something like a magic spell
    I hardly dare to think of what would happen
    Where I'd be if I fell
    
    Under attack
    I'm being taken
    About to crack
    Defences breaking
    Won't somebody please have a heart
    Come and rescue me now
    'Cause I'm falling apart
    Under attack
    I'm taking cover
    He's on my track
    My chasing lover
    Thinking nothing can stop him now
    Should I want to
    I'm not sure I would know how...
    
    © 1983 Polar Music International AB
    

*****
    
    
    "Mamma Mia"
    (B. Andersson, S. Anderson, B. Ulvaeus)
    
    I've been cheated by you
    Since I don't know when
    So I made up my mind
    It must come to an end
    Look at me now
    Will I ever learn
    I don't know how
    But I suddenly lose control
    There's a fire within my soul
    
    Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
    One more look and I forget everything
    Whoa-oa
    
    Mamma mia!
    Here I go again
    My, my how can I resist you
    Mamma mia!
    Does it show again
    My, my just how much I miss you
    Yes, I've been broken hearted
    Blue since the day we parted
    Why, why did I ever let you go
    Mamma mia!
    Now I really know
    My my, I could never let you go
    
    I've been angry and sad about things that you do
    I can't count all the times
    That I told you we're through
    And when you go
    When you slam the door
    I think you know
    That you won't be away too long
    You know that I'm not that strong
    
    Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
    One more look and I forget everything
    Whoa-oa
    
    Mamma mia!
    Here I go again
    My my, how can I resist you
    Mamma mia!
    Does it show again
    My my, just how much I missed you
    Yes, I've been broken hearted
    Blue since the day we parted
    Why why, did I ever let you go
    
    Mamma mia!
    Even if I say "Bye-bye, leave me now or never"
    Mamma mia!
    It's a game we play
    Bye-bye doesn't mean forever
    Mamma mia!
    Here I go again
    My, my how can I resist you
    Mamma mia!
    Does it show again
    My my, just how much I missed you
    Yes, I've been broken hearted
    Blue since the day we parted
    Why why, did I ever let you go
    Mamma mia!
    Now I really know
    My my, I could never let you go.
    
    © 1975 Polar Music International AB
    

  
Archived: November 02, 2001 


End file.
